Okay... so I am 20 years old and so is this guy. About 4 years ago I had a thing with this guy. We would hang out I would go to his house and watch movies and I thought I really liked him but I hadn't felt those strong feelings yet. He had asked me to date him and as an idiot I didn't say yes because I didn't want to hop into another relationship.

So a little bit after, i was at a fire with some friends and my girlfriend told me this other boy liked me so I started talking to him and what an asshole I was. I felt like I was in the middle of these 2 guys who liked me.

Of course I started talking to the other guy from the fire... and started really having good chemistry. He asked me to date and I said yes. The other guy had told people I broke his heart. I felt bad but there was nothing I could do now that I ruined that.

So I dated this guy for 3 1/2 years. We were best friends and had a really good connection but I lost the feeling about 2 years ago when he started using drugs and it got out of hand. He's been to rehab twice. So we broke up very recently.

The other guy who said I "broke his heart" started dating MY best friend for 2 1/2 years now or a little bit less. Of course i've been jealous ever since the beginning, but i'm the one who lost out. I know I messed up. So for a year or a little longer I have developed strooonnng strong feelings for this guy...

Anyhow, my best friend is like my sister. She's 18 and she's beautiful and smart and just is awesome. Lately me and her boyfriend and her brother and cousins and other friends have been going to a bunch of music festivals and shows to see our favourite bands. I can't help it but I really think i'm in love. It's sad this situation i'm in but I don't know, I can't help my feelings. I have never felt the way I feel when i'm around him.

So one day after a festival when I got home I texted him because he always makes eye contact with me and I know there's something there. So I texted him to ask if I am imagining things or if it is just me. We promised each other this would stay between us. He told me there is def something still there and he thinks i'm his soul mate and we have so much in common and idk... i feel exactly the same.

I know in my heart he feels something strong and I do too. But we both care and love my best friend and would never hurt her. But my feelings are mysterious because I feel it is hurting her anyway if she doesn't know there's something still there between us.

He loves her and idk what to do. He told me in the future if him and I are meant to be it will happen...OMG! It's killing me. I just want to run away with him. I have dreams about him. I get mad sometimes when they are together but I don't want to leave because he's there...even when I don't want to see them hug, kiss and flirt.

It killlllls. I hate it. I just know when I look into his eyes there's something strong. I don't know what to do. I don't want to wait for him but he's the only one I want... This hurts. I'm in love, I know it.