Rush
I was always disgusted in needle users. It totally freaked me out.
I was using pills heavily for about 4 years until I shot up for the first time, which was supposed to be my ''only time''.
I come from a very good family. It would damage their name if my secrets came out. And they are, slowly. You can only hide being a drug addict for so long.
But anyway, after the first few shots, you will do ANYTHING to feel the rush you felt the first shot. You double your dosage, then your tolerance is SKY high.
Anyway, drugs suck. I wish I NEVER knew the feeling, because now nothing in life will ever feel as great as the rush you get from booting.
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I loved pills and then shot speed. The first time was great. Then you end up wanting it more often and even dreaming about it sometimes. It's not pretty. Being an "addict" is not forever though, it's something u feel u are now, but its not YOU.
In the end and I decided not to be one. And now I don't do stuff like I used to. there are some awesome things I found that feel amazing, just not the same. You have to find whats right for you yourself, but you can't do it while you're chasing a fix. And i don't look and act like shit anymore. Sounds like you're worried about family finding out and about you so I don't think you want to stay like this. PLUS who knows what youre really putting in your arm, or what it will do?
i am from a very good family & i never would have wanted any of them to know about my drug use. ive tried it all but after i gave up smoking ice i met this guy and started using heroin with him. even worse i was injecting it. after the first shot i just wanted to feel that rush again as the first time but let me assure you, you will never feel it again!!!
i have recently got on a programme and stopped using heroin. after chasing that first feeling for 1 year & a half i realised it would never happen again!! Please stop using needles as they make your habit bigger every day without noticing and it will eventually ruin your life and take the real you away! All the best.