Allow in the world!
Don't you just find it funny that you can be surrounded by people, and feel entirely and utterly alone? I mean you can be in a crowded place, right in the middle. You look around, and all you see is people. People of every shape, coloured skin, coloured eyes, and coloured hair, and feel like you do not belong.
It is just one of the weirdest feelings in the world, to think you don't belong, that you're different in a place that has so much diversity. However, you can be alone, and feel that this is so right. That this is how you were meant to live your life.
What is with that? I mean you can't live your life alone---that would just drive you completely up the wall. I mean it would drive me f-ing crazy. You feel all this 1 day and then the next you feel the complete opposite. That you were meant to live your life in the crowd. It is enough to drive anyone senseless. Life is just that but much, much harder to deal with.
Don't you just HATE it so much? But to hate life is to hate everything and to hate everything is to hate nothing. It is just so darn confusing.
I already know that life is not simple and I am only 14. For if it was it would be so boring. I think I would shoot my brains out just to spice it up. Anyone else feel that way or should I be in an asylum? Wait don't answer that, I already know the answer.
HELL yes I should be in an asylum but then again everyone is different so to you I am, or might not be crazy, to me I am not crazy, and then again sometimes I do think I am completely up the wall. See, another confusing thing that life has to offer. Yesh!
Have you ever experienced this: some days you hate yourself or others or even life itself, then the next you might absolutely love it and want to keep living and enjoying it? If you have ever been teased you will know what I am talking about. Raise your hands if you have ever been teased. I will assume 95% of the people reading have put up their hands. That is my guess at the number of people that have/are/or will be bullied at some stage in their lives. And let me tell you from my lifetime of experience that it sucks royally.
If you are bullying anyone at the moment, stop and think PLEASE. You could be ruining a life right now---do you want that on your conscience?
And for those of us who have or are being bullied, also take a moment to think. Don't let some a-holes ruin your life. Take no notice of them, ignore them and be yourself.
I now speak to everyone: be completely random (It is the most fun, trust me. Ask any of my friends.) or sincere about everything, or be loving, or be a bad ass, be a pot head, be a nerd, be a jock---just be who you want to be. Change your group of friends. See what it's like for everyone else. Change your mind. Change you style. Change your life. Just BE who you want to be, not who you're defined as.
Oh and a last minute note: a bit of bad criticism is good ONLY in small doses. Don't put up with constant harassment.
Comments / Feedback
Before I say anything else, I want yu to know that you aren't crazy! many people at some point in their lives get suicidal thoughts. I have and so have all my friends. the feeling will eventually go away.
Also you are very smart for your age! You realise that even though you get depressed and harassed by bullies, that life is all good if you ignore the harassments. And be who you are! And have fun with your life!
To all of us out there, we need to give this 14 year old a round of applause! You are so smart and realise the good aspects of life and that everyone is different! I realised that too when I just ignored all the annoying bitches at school! I'm 12 years old. I've been picked on, gotten depressed, had suicidal thoughts, felt left out by everyone else. But it all only made me stronger!
Good luck with life you incredibly smart 14 year old philosopher!!! I send my best wishes that you take your advice and manage to pull through your feelings!