Manipulation through fear
"Manipulation through fear", someone said in my English class. We were talking about Richard III by William Shakespeare, and immediately I had the flashback, of my old life.
I was 15. My mum had just divorced my dad. I didn't understand why she was so scared to do so, why she was so worried.
See, my father was abusive to my mother, but he was such a good actor. He could convince anyone that it was my mother who was psycho, emotional, hysterical and had mental problems. None of these were true.
I had stopped seeing my father when i realised just how awful he could be. But now, he was angry. The divorce was like his trigger and he did everything to make us suffer. He started by paying people to follow us everywhere, to the shops, to school. Where were the police? Well they honestly aren't able to help until someone's dead or hurt. So they followed us, quite obviously, everywhere. We started getting scared. Honestly my father could easily hire someone to kill us.
Then they stepped it up a notch. Every time we came home something was missing. They would get in our roof, using our neighbour's roof, and terrify us, and when we got up there they hid or left. They did everything to scare us. Manipulation through fear...yeah that's my dad.
Although we can't openly prove it, i soon realised that something was wrong between him and my sister, and then he said i was beautiful one time, and i shivered...
Anyway, i was still going through yr 10, looking after my niece who lived with us, staying home to protect what was left of our possessions and then... then they broke in in the middle of the night and hit my mother on the head. She didn't see their faces... and there was no obvious force of entry, although i think people seriously underestimate criminals.
After that we started to get terrified. We had to give my niece back to her mother, because it was only right, but it hurt so much to let her go... she was like my little sister. Anyway that's when the night shifts started. We were terrified, so we would take shifts to protect ourselves. Me and my mother were the only ones who could stay awake the longest. So i was in yr 10, going through end of year exams, i lost my niece, i was being stalked, along with my family, by my father, we were threatened to be killed so many times, i was going through social problems at school and i had to stay up at night to protect my family, oh, and i forgot, i was also helping renovate our house so we could sell and leave.
I guess i should mention that we should have gone to a refuge... but my mum has been to those many times, and she didn't want us to go through that. So after we sold the house we ran, across states. And after 2 years, and a court case, we felt relatively safe.
Sometimes I look over my shoulder, worried that it has started again, but i know i will be okay. I'm living in a town and my biggest problems now are boys, school, bullies, my figure and of course the things from my past that still haunt me, or more scare me. It screws you up, but you eventually heal. I guess for a while i was waiting for someone to save me, but something you have to realise is that you have to save yourself.
No one knows what i went through... at my school. But that's okay cause they just know who i am, they don't have to know my past. Sometimes i wonder, if they only knew....but for now i'm happy and okay.
Just remember stalking is real, and not just from someone who is deeply in love with you... it can be the opposite. Just enjoy normal problems and fight through them. And for now i'm happy to have the normal drama.