Just be friends
Well there's this guy and I've been going out with him for about a year. Anyway we were at camp a few weeks ago and I came up to him and asked him if we could just be friends cuz I don't like him like that anymore. But he went over to his mates and was talking next thing I know he's walking out the door face red and he's crying!! :( BTW he's the toughest guy in our year. So I started crying cuz I felt so bad!! I think he's a great guy who's really kind and sweet and it would be so sad for me if he was not my friend anymore!
But the worst part is ... the day after camp he left to go to another place until the beginning of next term. He's been sending my friend all these messages on fb saying how he's really stressed and needs to talk to her about me. I'm really worried that something has happened! My friends have been real nice about this. So I don't know what to do really.
BTW I keep thinking about him. That's not normal right?? :/
Comments / Feedback
Everything is gonna be okay. Give him time and he won't feel bad about the break-up eventually. He may think it's one of his worst things that happened to him in his life, but he'll realise he has to move on, because he'll get sick of being depressed and upset over the matter.
Plus, I'm not sure whether he knows this or not, but he should know that it just... didn't work out between you two. Plus I hope he understands that he would be in a pointless relationship if it's one-sided and would burden you if the bf/gf relationship kept going.
If he starts to become too emotional and starts to become suicidal and such, then he needs help right away! Although there is something I would like to add... you said that he became upset and started crying after he talked with his friends. Maybe they said something to him that triggered him to break down and he can't stop himself from thinking what they said to him. I don't know if they said something that was intentional joking remarks, or bullying insults, or just friendly advice that he took it in the wrong way... I don't know, I wasn't there, and you were kinda there but we all don't know what's going on in his head.
The best I can say for now is just wait and hopefully he'll get over it. I don't know if this is required, but figure out if he just needs someone to tell him (even if it's you) that he shouldn't be hung up over this, and understand your feelings too. You would have to say you're sorry that it's not going well for him, but he needs to get out of that state otherwise he will kill himself from the inside. Besides there's a saying that we all fall for one reason... so we can LEARN to pick ourselves up. :) Or what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. He should know these things (if he doesn't that is.)
Plus he is lucky enough that he was broken up in a relationship in the softest way possible, because there are lots of people who break up because from cheating, pregnancies, mistrust, or simple stupid misunderstandings... If he thinks his life sucks, he should also know many people suffer and die from hunger, bullied for being different, girls (and possibly guys) getting raped randomly on the streets, families losing family members from other people's insanity in shootings, and other stupid things that somehow makes this world still turn.
Anyway, hope for all the best for you and sorry for the rant. :]
in my opinion, you're only thinking about him a lot because you're worried about him. i remember thinking about a guy who i knew was trying to ask me out but i kept refusing him. then i started to think that if i permanently damaged his feelings or something... but once i realised that he seemed okay, i pretty much forgot about him.
and once he's over his little fit, you'll be at ease and think about him less. if you still think about him after he made his peace and still want him, then YOU have the problem :)