Bipolar
Hello, i'm 18 and female. I have bipolar mood disorder. I feel really unsure about my life. I don't know what i want in the near or far future. I'm in my HSC year at school and i'm struggling with my school work as i'm often feeling tired, lazy and deeply depressed or uncontrollably happy and excited.
Nobody knows about my illness, even my family and closest friends. I want to tell somebody but i'm not sure how. I've always been the "happy" girl and i'm scared that if i tell my family and friends about my illness things will change for the worse. I strongly believe bipolar is affecting my studies and the way that i have been conducting myself at school. I know that by talking to my year adviser or school counsellor i can get special provisions which i think i truly deserve and desperately need.
I'm sick and tired of dealing with my illness alone, but i'm also unsure about telling others. I'm really confused and i don't know who to turn to for help. I know i can get help from my local youth centre or GP but something inside is stopping me from reaching out for help. I've tried to tell friends many times before but it just seems like i cannot open up about it. I'm very confused and i would love for somebody who has experienced bipolar to give me advice.
I suffer from bipolar but i am a little older than you, i am 24. but you must remember that year 12 is very important and even though its very hard to cope with the stress of it all you cant let it beat you. If you let the illness control you, you will be useless at everything trust me i know. I cant work because of bipolar but i am trying to get energised and enthusiastic by volunteering my time to help others.
When it comes to doing it alone its the worst thing you can do. you need help and support from your family and friends, and if you tell your friends you will be surprised they are all old enough now to know that bipolar is an illness and not a pretend thing so they will probably be very supportive you will be surprised. and your family, well they love you unconditionally so you really should tell them and get as much support as you need. I know i couldnt go through this without the help, support and love of those around me. its amazing how those that love you help you out and they can recognise the signs before you can sometimes so you can tell when youre going to be up or down etc. i honestly dont know how youve been coping this far without the help of those around you ......
I hope i have helped in some way. good luck with year 12. stick to it and keep smiling xoxo.
I hope this helps younger readers. I'm a 48 year old woman who now realises that I have had bipolar all my life. The wacky, crazy, fun things that I thought constituted my personality were probably manifestations of the illness. I was only placed on medication for depression a few years ago, that helped me sort of keep my life together till about three weeks ago. After three weeks of erratic sleep and three nights straight with no sleep I was finally hospitalised. I am now at home awaiting a home visit from a mental health professional.
My point is, don't wait. I struggled, covered up, and lived the best life I could with debilitating symptoms. It now seems such a waste. I should have received help when I was still at school. I managed to get through my HSC but dropped out of uni in the first year because I started to use alcohol to help with my symptoms. In retrospect it's hard to believe I managed for so long. It just gets harder as you get older. Get the help you need NOW. I wish I had the chance when I was younger, my life could have been so different. Good luck.