Okay, I could write a fucking book about all my problems but I'll just spit it out before I lose my nerve. Here we go. By the way I'm a 15 year old girl.
I have depression, trichotilmania (a type of anxiety that makes me constantly pull at my hair---I'm actually going bold at the back of my head), I've never had a boyfriend, my parents were divorced since before I was born. My father (who I hate) loves my little half-brother way more than he loves me and my older brother, I love my little half-brother (that's a good thing).
My poor mum is addicted to marijuana and has been since before I was born, she has to sell weed so we can eat, I had to care for her while she was getting over her depression which caused me to get it as well, I can't tell anyone (not even the woman I speak to on Kids Helpline occasionally). The only person I can tell is my conscious/imaginary friend called Ronaldo.
Our family is incredibly poor, we don't have a car, we can hardly pay the rent, my father only wants to take me in if my mum dies so he can get her money. I cry for no reason (just reading over this is causing tears to well up in my eyes). I separate myself from most of the female population by not using 'like' every second word and not dressing like a slut, for that I get teased.
Please...can anybody relate to anything up there? Why is all this bad karma attaching itself to me when I try to be nice but all this world gives in return is pain? Why is it that when I need a hug when my mum's not around I have to get Ronaldo who isn't even real to give me one? Why is my life so messed up---it seems like something out of a drama series?!
Comments / Feedback
heyy..well i mean my parents are divorced too. the only reason my dad talks to me is because i always call him..i can't really talk to my mom bout anything going on with my life because she doesnt understand me..i try to talk to her bout stuff i feel but she doesnt listen to me..i have an awsome bf but i feel like i cant talk to him either..i feel like nobody gets me..they dont know what goes on inside of me.. i just wishd i had sum1 to talk to bout all this..
u poor thing. i guess i have experienced similar things growing up (im now 21). my dad is an alcoholic and only calls me when he's drunk and never wants to see me. my mum works all the time, and is very reserved and doesnt pay attention to anything i say or show any interest in my life. my parents also divorced when i was very young. my mum had to support us and we were very poor (we could hardly afford to eat). i took up sport and got interested in study, and it helped because it made me feel responsible for my own happiness.
if u focus on these things it gives u goals and motivation to succeed. u can get through this and be better for it. it can help to build your character and make u are more caring and considerate person in the future (not a spoilt brat who has had no suffering!) beleive me - im studying at uni now and have a good life. keep talking about your problems - u should tell the woman from kids helpline. you may need some help because sometimes its hard to get yourself out of depression (i talk from experience). seeing a counsellor could help you. i wish you lots of luck x
"I separate myself from most of the female population by not using 'like' every second word and not dressing like a slut, for that I get teased." I LOVE that you wrote that! Brave and smart: that's a great combination.
Good on you for reaching out for help from the Kid's Line and this site. Keep speaking and dressing that way YOU like. Things will get better, I promise you. I used to get teased too, for speaking in sentences. Now I work in an internet agency, writing for websites! I don't even think about the twits who teased me any more. Your future is brighter than you can imagine. Stay strong!