Not loving my whole body
OK, so 16 is the age to experiment, hey. And it's natural to fool around with your boyfriend if you're both ready to let yourselves explore each other's bodies. Well there lies my problem.
I haven't told anybody. I am a reasonably popular girl who attracts lots of guy's attention. So I don't have a problem with guys, or with my body, so everyone thinks.
I am slim and petite but yet I don't want to let anyone near me for fear of humiliation that my lower region isn't attractive or appealing. I am ready to have some fun experimenting but I am very ashamed because my labia sticks out and I do not want to be hurt or teased.
I hope someone out there understands what I mean. I want to get a labioplasty but I don't want my parents to find out and don't know wether I have to be over 18. I feel guilty not loving my whole body.
Comments / Feedback
The thing is, girls, is that guys r as horny as goats. by the time they get access to that part of ur body, they will b so turned on they will not really care how big they r
So, after reading Snatched (Helen Vnuk -check it out!), I'm more willing to accept my normality. So I don't have what The Vagina Institute (.com...) calls an "ideal vagina". Well, there's safety in numbers Ladies, and I want you to work at liking yourself first, before you go and give someone rich even more money! Granted, some girls have a really hard time of it, and we should all have a right to change something which upsets us. But don't think you're a freak just because yours doesn't look like the vaginas in mainstream magazines - IT IS ILLEGAL TO PUBLISH PICS OF VAGINAS (penises are fine, ALL the time) WITHOUT FIRST AIRBRUSHING THEM! Some rightly refer to the after-pictures of these alterations as child-like. Which is something to ponder, and to fight against. Unite, little-lip-pokers. Celebrate your normality and share it with a Loving partner. Do not be ashamed! Spread the word. X
it may not be an issue at all if thats the case............. but i still feel horrible
I had Labia Plasty yesterday! and feeling good! like most of you I didn't like the way my labia looked. I waited till I was 37 to do something about it..... It was very emabassing to talk about. Finally I went to a Lady GP who referred me to a gynecologist. He said it would cost around $1500 dollars if done on Medicare, it maybe free for some. I decided to opt to go to plastic surgeon as I wanted to make sure of the end result. I searched under the Official Website for registered plastic surgeons for one in my area that performed this proceedure. Although it cost me $3,300 it so far has been well worth it. Tips for before, be healthy, no alcholol, stop smoking. Take Arnica 2 days before and continue to take after as it helps stop brusing and swelling and Vit C for healing etc. You can search this information on the internet under 'Arnica before Surgery'
I really hope this helps,,,, don't be scared and trust your instincts about which surgeon should perform the operation. Make sure you ask lots of questions.....
This is a great corner, thanks to you girls i dont feel alone, i am searching for a good surgeon to help me with this problem which caused me to be a 30 year old vigin. goodluck to all of you ...
I'm gonna do it.. I hate thinking about how ugly and uncomfortable I feel every day!
So I checked them out. Wow does it have a lot of information about labiaplasty, and other stuff, like costs and about Dr. Alinsod, the surgeon. It is really detailed with a lot of patient ed. material. I hope this helps.
I will be sure to let u know how i go with my surgery and if i find out anymore about the age limit and cost and such. Thankyou for all your comments, as they have helped me have the confidence to get up and go for this operation.
I find this so disturbing... what are you comparing the size of your vagina to? when you say it is ugly, ugly compared to what? In most magazines in Australia it is illegal to show any clitoris or inner labia in photos in magazines. This means they airbrush the vaginas. Like visual circumsion!!!
And they make it look pinker and younger looking!!
Imagine if all australian mags airbrushed off men's testicles and young men were comparing themselves to these pictures and feeling bad about themselves!
If you've been looking at these magazines and comparing yourself to these images please don't becasue these are not even real or natural vaginas that you are seeing!!!! In some cultures women with especially long and elongated inner labia were seen as the most sexy and desired and actaully tried to stretch them..
Also when you are sexually excited your labia engorges with blood and your clitoris becomes erect as the hood pulls back much like a penis.. ie-it becomes bigger and swollen and engorged!!!!
When I was a little girl I remember having just that a very neat and little girl like vagina. Then I went thru puberty and it grew a bit! I thought this was weird comparing it to the airbrushed unrealistic world of porn.... But since then I ve seen lots of real labias and I know that I am so normal!!!! The woman's body is presented very unnaturally in the media..
If a boy liked you and you were enjoying each other sexually what does it matter whether you're an innie or an outie. Embrace your individual beauty! LOVE YOUR CUNT! IT s a pretty damn clever organ!
i got d same probelm im 18 n havent been sexually active becoz of dis.. i emailed few doctors becoz im finally ready to get it done..fingers crossed..i always thought i was the only one wif dis problem and i havent told any1 but my mum..she always told me it was normal but i neva listened 2 her
i will let you all know how i go with the surgery
good luck and all the best :)
And i agree with a few comments above: why the hell isn't this issue more openly addressed? It has lead to years of embarrassment and no sexual activity for me because i was always too shy.
If you're seeing a person who really cares about you there is no doubt he will do his best to make you feel confident and not be ashamed in any way as there is nothing to be ashamed of. My girlfriend has rather large labia and she was shy at first but with love and encouragment she now wears very sexy bikinis when we go to the beach and i can tell you she looks amazing in it. It sure does it for me and from the glances she gets from other guys i know they like it too - it's a look of, WOW that's hot, not a snigger or laugh.
It's up to you to decide what you want but before you do you should have a look at some pics on the web and just see for yourself how sexy and attractive a women can be with large labia.
Do your research: there's a chance you can be stuck w/ chronic pain and sexual dysfunction. That means for the rest of your life. It's a small chance, but doesn't matter if it happens to you. I regret doing this every minute of every day. Don't know what's going to happen to my marriage in the long run, although he's very supportive right now. But it's only been a couple months. Please please please; think hard about this. It could change your life, and not for the better.
At the end of the day if it gives u true discomfort n pain then yes get it done but research it before getting it done like I was gonna do it to make it look pretty. Ask a few close guy mates what they think of a girls' ladie pockets - u'll be suprised u asked!!! That $5000 I saved busting my butt working I went on the best holiday ever and strutted my stuff! GOOD LUCK 2 ALL U GIRLS OUT THERE, WE ARE ALL UNIQUE FOR A REASON. I'm 22 and I'm keepin mine the way it is. S xoxoxox
I'm 30, but I was 16 once, and I remember clearly how hyper-critical I was about my body as I was figuring out what was "normal". (Which, incidentally, goes away with age, after you've seen enough other bodies to realize that nothing's normal...but blah, blah, blah, you've heard all this before). I don't know what I want to say, exactly...just, well, first of all, that it's really common for the inner labia to exceed the outer labia. REALLY common. See here: http://www.canal96.com/extra/caviar/pussies/. And secondly, that human beings are wired to find swollen labia attractive, because the labia swell when aroused so it's reminiscent of sexual arousal.
Oh, ladies! I implore you to stop projecting shame onto your genitals! I know I sound like some 30-something freaking school nurse or something, but it just breaks my heart to think of the energy you are devoting to this little form of self-hatred. And more importantly, how this shame cheats you out of your sexuality, the healthy expression of which absolutely depends on you feeling comfortable in your body.
I wish there was a way that I could assure you that you are normal. Women with large labia, small labia, and everything in between are being loved by their partners all over the world, and you will be, too (http://www.sexylabia.com). Give a thought to how our society puts so much pressure on girls - really young girls - to be over-sexualized, and then subversively teaches them to hate the very source of their sexuality, and choose to love yourself instead and explore the incredible possibilities of your sexuality.
And PS - there's no chance your boyfriend will tease you or say anything hurtful about your labia. Remember that old joke about women getting naked in front of men: they're just grateful!
PLEASE, GIRLS, DON'T WISH THIS GIFT AWAY. Use it to your advantage, and have fun. There is a web site dedicated to large labia. See www.sexylabia.com, it's free and NOT sleazy.
I noticed an advertisement for a labia reduction and I was curious who had their labia reduced. Go figure...I was looking at labias just like mine! haha! Now mind you, I have had around 15 boyfriends and not one has ever commented. I also have heard of some of my other friends having issues with orgasms, however, I have never had that issue. It's nice to read that one of the benefits of a large labia is increased sexual pleasure. However it's sad that my first inclination , when reading all this, was to now be self conscious...however I won't give it that type of power. I want to be honest...my body isn't perfect...but as a former professional dancer...it's not bad! Yet, I sure don't look like a porn star anywhere else...because it's not real. Why start with my vagina!?!
Girls...don't model yourself off of what you think a man would want. In my experience from what I know, men like confidence (or ignorance in my case...hahha!). Wait til you are with your first guy with a smaller penis...trust me... MOST GUYS aren't self conscious!!!! Our larger labia isn't uncomfortable for a guy...or doesn't deprive them of any sexual pleasure. Small penises...well...let's just say...we women are so forgiving :)
Be proud of your bodies ladies! Any guy is lucky to be even close to you...if he is going to stand in judgement that's not a partner that you want! xoxo
No woman has the same nose or smile or legs or breasts but why are we all so paranoid about the way our vagina looks? This is the way we were made and i happen to think it was obviosuly for a very good reason.
Every girl (including young girls who are still trying to find themselves) seem to compare themselves to porn stars and models who are all airbushed in the magazine, porno's etc, these women's vaginas are definitely not what they look like in real life! Search different types of vagina. Believe me, once i started seeing pictures of different women it made me feel a lot better of myself.
Surgery is such a drastic step in trying to make ourselves like the 'sterotype' of what woman look like! Be happy with yourselves girls. You only have once chance of life and i would hate to think that you would spend so much energy in trying to change yourself that you miss out on having a lot of fun. Peace J xoxox
If a guy teases you about your labia, he's immature. Real men love it.
I still feel sort of disgusted by it. But i will not resort to labiaplasty or whatver the hell its called! its WRONG! God made you that way for a reason! Come on, when you get all turned on your clit swells up & guys are extremely turned on by it. So why would they mind it being like that all the time? It's just more to play with! I have large labia lips and i am proud! I am a good looking gal & i feel it just adds to the package. so f all you little boys who cant handle us! Real men know wassup :D
since i was my bf's first he was curious to what it was and it didnt really bother me, he now has learnt that its normal to have it and he thinks it sexy which is why i wuldnt do anything to change the fact that i hav abit of extra skin hanging off my body
Just remember you girls are the sexy ones not the ugly ones. I know girls that would die to have big labias. SAY NO TO SURGERY!! - YOU WANT TO BE SEXY RIGHT :)
Teenagers go straight for the "bits" cause that's what they think sex is about. Then we grow up and discover it is about 2 people in love. We discover the soft curves of your hips when you sit on our lap facing us. The way our kisses make the hair on you neck stand on end. How our touch elicts a soft breath that escapes your lips. One gentle caress that relaxes you so much you close your eyes and breathe out. That's the joy of it. Not looking at it. Who really wants a designer vagina? Sex is touching, feeling, closeness and warmth. Moving together. Not looking at each other's genitalia under a microscope and critizing. If you are so pre-occupied with what's happening down there, how much attention are you giving to the task? Lol, c'mon, grow up girls.
What bloke has ever said, to a naked woman who wants to make love "meat curtains - you look untidy and gross"? The short answer is: a man who musn't get a lot of sex, lol. And if he is that focussed on that 1 part I can guarantee he will be a lousy lover. Cause then it seems he wants it perfect for him. He want to shag a magazine, his fantasy. No matter what you do he won't be happy until you turn into a porn star. Be yourself. Love yourself and others will follow.
P.s. You think labias look gross? How many guys worry about saggy balls? Remember scary movie? Miss mann? Ewwww..... lol, there is always worse.
Its just really crazy that you're worried about this and I don't normally share this but I think it will get my point across and its anonymous so whatever I'll share with you. I worked as a dancer in Spearmint Rhino mainly and a few other local clubs a few years ago from when I was 18 to 21 and I'm in Australia so here we go all the way and show everything even on stage so I KNOW what guys like and I'm telling you you have NOTHING to worry about. Its crazy that you're insecure. If you knew what the guys liked you wouldn't be at all, you'd be totally happy with yourself.
Do you know why they airbrush those magazines anyway? It's because of censorship regulations. Apparently seeing the labia is too hardcore - they have to have those black plastic covers on them if they do so they choose to airbrush. It's not an aesthetic thing. I'm telling you stop worrying about it, you're the lucky ones. Guys LOVE what you have so just be happy and definitely get a bit more experience with guys and their tastes before you do something so drastic becauase I'm sure after you've done that you'll think you were crazy for ever wanting to change it!! I really hope you realise you have nothing to worry about and accept yourself. Your guy will thank you XX
i wish people would stop generalising. girls, i'm sure there are plenty of people who love them large and will tell you so, and i'm sure there are people who will be weirded out by them but won't tell you so out of courtesy, and i'm sure there will be total jerks who will ask you what's wrong with you. it's quite obvious that 100% of the population does not enjoy large labia. how much of an effect that has on an individual is just that... individual. it's about being confident being naked with a partner, especially up close. it's about being comfortable in a swimsuit, or in yoga class, or on a road bike, or sitting cross-legged, or going to naked lounge parties with friends. it's about sex hurting when they get tangled up.
but none of that is anyone else's business, because it's about ME. it's not about YOU. if YOU don't want a labia reduction, then don't have one. but how dare you try to talk someone out of a very personal decision or ask these women what's wrong with them for wanting to look more like the media we're fed (which i'm sure weighs on all our minds, but i think i've listed some non-aesthetic legitimate concerns as well)? attack the media all you want, but please don't attack us. i took a pair of SCISSORS to myself when i was 11 or 12, for goodness sake. i realize that's totally ridiculous, but that didn't stop me from trying another little home operation on myself a couple years ago as an adult who should know better. but that's how much it's affected my life. at 25, i learned that legitimate surgery in a real hospital was an option and immediately scheduled my procedure. i just had the surgery a month ago. i'm still recovering, but I AM SO GLAD I DID IT. i wish i'd known about the option for surgery years ago.
for the girls considering it, i'll tell you a little about what i've experienced for the last month. the operation did not leave me completely symmetrical or airbrushed-picture-perfect, and i did rip several stitches from trying to be too active when i should have taken it easy. you will be in for a good amount of pain (probably some of the worst pain i've felt, and i'm no stranger to surgery). for the first couple weeks at least, walking will hurt, as will sitting (i sit either reclined very far back which has the least tension, or on one side), as will getting out of bed or even rolling over. if you rip stitches like i did (and apparently this is common with the "wedge" removal method, as there is constant tension on the skin, which you will feel), it even stings bitterly to pee.
i was definitely not prepared for the difficulty and pain or length of this recovery, which is touted by many plastic surgery websites as a minor procedure - it's not and there should really be more sites like this one that will more easily allow honest opinions from people who have had it. however, all that said, the pain of recovery doesn't compare to a lifetime of mental anguish. and now i cannot WAIT to jump back in bed with a restored confidence (even my partner of ten years was not allowed to give me oral sex). don't let these people talk you out of surgery as long as you've done your research and weighed your risks and have decided it's what you really want and can afford. hope this helps.
one last thought - how are those piercings on that website posted upthread any less mutilating than the surgery? do we not pierce our ears and tattoo our bodies on a fairly regular basis? where do we draw the line?
I am 25 and have had 3 serious boyfriends. None of them have ever commented on the large size of my labia. When I was a teenager I was always very embarrassed about my labia, hence I was the last of my friends to lose my virginity, even though I was popular and attractive.
Since my first boyfriend (first everything) I have always enjoyed sex, however never completey as I don't feel comfortable with oral sex being performed on me, and sometimes my labia can be slightly uncomfortable in certain sexual positions. I am currently researching surgery... even though after reading all of this I feel far more confident. I had no idea I was so normal despite what my previous boyfriends told me. I am going to do what I feel is best for me, and I hope everyone else will too after a lot of research.
Just remember girls that men seriously don't care - if they truly love you they will love everything about you. You would be having the surgery for yourself and definitely not for them. As corny as it sounds it is completely true :) good luck girls :)
Right, so there are about 50 odd entries on this blog, most of them about young girls complaining that their labia minora is too big etc. Now don't you think that if all of you have this same problem, that it actually isnt a problem at all, rather a normality? If all of you have the same, chances are many more do too, and that you are actually normal. It makes perfect sense.
I used to think the same as you, that i was abnormal. Then he came along. He was the first guy i was ever intimate with, though i was not his first, he was much more experienced. I was so scared and embarrassed to let him down there. He told me, "I can't like you if you dont like yourself". At first, I didnt get it, but I thought about it some more, and realised he was right, I was being silly. I told him why I was so hesitant about it, and he told me I was just like every other girl he had been with, that i was beautiful and he loved me. I haven't worried about it since. I got over it.
If this "problem" is stopping you from being intimate, dont let it. Youre missing out big time, its not worth it, trust me. This surgery business is a waste of time and money. What if something went wrong, you could end up disfigured, and I mean really disfigured, then how would you feel? I'm just asking you to think about this before you make a mistake, you could regret it majorly.
Hey. I am an 18 year old girl and I have enlarged labia. I never even had a thought that something may be wrong with it, I just assumed thats what every girl looked like to some degree.
I had sex with my boyfriend when I was 16 and it was amazing. my enlarged labia didn't cause any problems and my boyfriend never mentioned anything...I don't know whether this was because he loved me and didn't care or he actually liked its appearance but I personally think that he was just grateful that i let him look and feel me, and I can't imagine any man would turn down sex just because of that.
However when I was 17 I happened to watch an episode of 'embarrassing bodies' on which a young girl had gone on the show with a vagina very much like my own. The doctor then informed her that she had a 'condition' called enlarged labia as though it was some kind of disease. Following the doctors opinion she had surgery. Now seeing this really freaked me out, I became very conscious about how my lady parts looked naked, in knickers, shorts... anything really, and obsessed about them. I became very withdrawn from my boyfriend even though he clearly didn't mind and I started to pull his hand away, not let him go down and of course switching the lights off whilst we had sex.
On my 18th birthday I finally decided enough was enough I didn't what these hideous, hanging unpleasant lips anymore but i was too embarassed to confide in anyone. I didn't even tell my bf about my worries in case he decided i was right and my privates were monstrous. So i began searching on the net. After looking on the internet, reading comments, looking at pictures and even examining my own body I finally decided I was normal. how can so many women have the same issue and all be mutants? And I do believe I'm right, we are all normal, just different.
Its like choosing between a girl with blonde hair and one with brunette...the guy may have a preference to one (small or non-existent labia) or the other (plump, long or big labia) but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because its the person you fall in love with.
I have read lots of comments saying that guys prefer enlarged labia as they are more sexual. I can see where they are coming from as after seein pictures of women with small labia I can see how it can seem childlike. However I think they both look equally as nice (well as nice as a vagina can look) BUT i think enlarged labia after surgery can look REALLY weird!!!!!
I think youre just best to stick what you were born with whether thats an outy or an inny and only consider surgery if its causing pain, discomfort, that kind of thing...you know, real medical reasons. I cannot believe how my whole view on my lady bits has changed in the space of a week.... and my bf is loving my new found confidence in the bedroom! I really hope my story helps you feel better about your bits :)
P.s I am seriously angry at the embarrassing bodies tv programme for even suggesting it a 'condition'. some guys have really big penises... and people don't go around saying 'You suffer from a condition called enlarged penis' x x x
To the guy who said "what was God thinking when he made scrotums", you just saved me around three grand. I'm not worried that whoever I decide to have sex with will snigger at me and piss off, I am not worried that they will dump me. I am just worried that they will be secretly 'settling' for me and my lopsided Ms. Cooter and that I won't be giving them the best I could.
But you know what, if the man I loved had lopsided everything, I would probably not even think I was settling. I would probably think 'that's just one more thing to love.' And I'm pretty sure that men experience love the same as women lol lol So what was I, what are we, getting upset over??? A site that was linked to before changed my perspective too. I feel better for having seen those pictures, I feel happier having read everyone's comments and I feel angry that no one talks about this stuff.
I have one labia that is very long towards the front and the other that is teeny tiny. I talked to my mum about it and she sniggered and said I was mutated. Not very sensitive of her, but that just goes to show that people have been NOT talking about this stuff for too long. Unless your vagina has teeth, or you penis appears to be talking to you, you're probably fine lol.
I too was thinking about surgery, but was worried about the cost and side effects. I've had many sexual partners (pretty much one night stands) and never worried too much about the size of my labia. they were always there of course and annoying, but I dealt with it.
That is, until I found my current partner, whom I love dearly and he loves me (we have been together now for 4 years). I was his first and he doesn't necessarily love my longer labia. I have asked him directly and he told me her pretty much prefers the "slim" look of vaginas in pornos/internet but my vagina is "fine." He is aware that most guys get really turned on by larger labia, but I guess he just isn't one of them, which is a little disappointing to me. We still enjoy sex immensely.
I would hate to lose that ability and sensation of fantastic orgasms. After reading all these comments I feel so much better that I am not abnormal and I should not risk operation just because I don't like the way it looks and is annoying. I agree with other messages saying not to have surgery unless you have serious problems, not just because you want to fit the "image."
I think my boyfriend just likes the porn-style vagina because mine is the only one he has actually been with and is fascinated with what he can't have. The child-like vagina with small labia still confuses me though as guys reckon they love large labia, yet they love the hairless look also, which is also child-like (pre-pubesent vaginas). Any guys can shed some light on this for me??
Thanks to everyone who posted, I enjoyed reading everyone's point of views and I hope my post might help other readers like previous posts have helped me reach a decision. Thumbs up everyone :)
Hey, most girls and women have longer labia - it's normal, it's how you're meant to be. Don't stress about it. Who on earth would want to go in for genital mutilation, because that's what labioplasty is. And we criticise muslim countries for genital mutilation.
The porn pics. Ignore them. Most of them are air-brushed or they've had labioplasty. In other words, they're generally not normal.
Do you really want to look like a little girl down there? Or do you want to look like a woman? Be proud of it the way it is. Nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of - let alone the idea of slicing it off with a knife!
My girlfriend has larger labia and I think she looks amazing, if not perfect. We have the best sex life ever. I think it's created a better sex life than a smaller labia would and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!
I urge all of you to re-evaluate your thoughts and try experimenting first, before having surgery. Give it a chance!
Hi I'm 23 and I always wondered if my larger labia was normal...I was self conscious about it but I'm not now...I asked my boyfriend not too long ago if it was normal and he said yea that all girls look diff. he had a past girlfriend who only had one side of her labia that was larger....
he loves me for me and our sex life is amazing...and after reading everyones posts I'm not worried about it at all...thank you everyone for letting me know that this is the way that the big guy in the sky made all of us women....
I'm a 26 year old guy, and all I can say is PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't get labiaplasty! Some women have inner labia that are not visible unless they spread their outer labia, but the vast majority of women have inner labia that stick out to one degree or another, even when they are standing naturally.
As a guy, I can tell you that guys are just happy to be with a naked girl and DO NOT CARE AT ALL if your inner lips are hidden or stick out. Vulvas come in all different shapes and sizes, and I love them all :) I myself actually think it's incredibly sexy to see inner lips "peeking out"! I promise you are COMPLETELY NORMAL and SHOULD NOT have surgery down there!
Im 15 and i know this sounds extremely conceited and everything but its just the truth... I'm really popular, I'm a model, and girls literally call me perfect. But when ever they say that all i think about is my labia and how it sticks out! I am a very mature girl and always have been since i was like 4.
Anyways when i was around 8 i noticed that my labia was sticking out more than my friends. I know this sounds ridiculous but since the age of 9 i have cried and cried about this problem and that i wanted labiaplasty but my mom obviously said no.
I had a boyfriend for a little and we wanted to become intimate. The only problem was that i was letting this little extra skin get in the way of my life. I had finally convinced my mom after 7 years of crying over this and my mom agreed to let me.
I got my surgery probably 3 weeks ago. the first 3 days it was super sore and not pretty. I iced it and the swelling began to go down. Now 3 weeks later and it looks already completely normal. I'm swimming already, going to the gym, doing shoots, etc. I couldn't be happier with the results.