Thank you for writing in about an issue that is difficult and challenging for families. You are quite right in thinking that you don't want to alienate your niece, because she does need all the support she can get (but won't think that at the moment). Modelling is an area where the media bombards us with messages that thin is best and shows us many many pictures of the super thin celebs and models. These messages and culture are very difficult to change and your niece is struggling to keep up. What she needs to know is that the media have it all wrong. A good modelling school would hopefully be guiding young people to eat a balanced diet and not go on "diets". Research tells us that diets don't work and can actually have negative affects.

Yes, it sounds as though your niece is in danger of developing an eating disorder. Anorexia can begin in the early to mid teens and people with anorexia have a disturbed body image, seeing themselves as fat even when they are very underweight. Anorexia can cause sadness, self-hatred, an obsession with food and over-exercising. Part of the disorder is that the person does not want to be treated. It takes intervention from family and friends to move someone towards treatment and recovery.

I recommend that your niece be seen by a doctor or specialist in eating disorders. Accessing a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service would be a good start because they have psychologists and psychiatrists trained to help. If she does lose a lot of weight your niece may need medical intervention.

I have included a website below (the first one), which sets out some things you can do to open up the communication channels between you and your niece.

Hope this helps and best wishes.