I love him so much but i am having trust issues.
I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I love him so much but i am having trust issues.
When we first got together his ex was always getting in the way. She works with him and is close with his family as she only lives down the road. We broke up 3 times because of her. He lied to me once about her and now i think he is going to do it again. I've had previous relationships which have been bad so i suppose this don't help.
My boyfriend has stopped speaking to his ex and our relationship is much better. He is so loyal, tells me he loves me all the time and would do anything for me but i keep doubtin him. He always reassures me but it don't help sometimes so i need some advice.
Thanks for your question. I can understand how this has been an issue in the relationship, particularly the way it was handled in the beginning. It was your boyfriend's responsibility to set boundaries with his ex in the beginning. It is a difficult situation when they work together and she is close with his family. However, you are in a relationship now and that needs to be respected. Your boyfriend has recently set some boundaries with his ex and it sounds like it's helping your relationship.
It takes work, time and commitment to rebuild trust in a relationship. It sounds as though he is trying to work on this now. Talking about this regularly with each other can help move on from it. Instead of asking questions if you feel suspicious, share the feelings behind them. It can make you feel powerless when you ask questions or check up on someone, rather than using your power to express how you really feel. Share your feelings about how sometimes it's hard to trust and that it takes time. What else can he do that would be helpful with trust?
You also need to take responsibility for managing your own feelings around this. Writing your feelings down in a private diary or talking to someone you trust can be good way of processing this stuff. Hope this helps.