Can/should you call yourself a virgin after experiences like that?
Hi and thanks for your question. I am so sorry that you had such an awful experience when you were younger. I hope that you have had a chance to talk to someone or to find some support for this.
I get lots of questions about virginity and yes you are quite right, there are a lot of different ideas as well as a lot of myths and misconceptions about this issue. I believe that virginity really is about how you feel and whether you "feel" a virgin, as you say. It's really a very subjective thing.
The experiences you had were of sexual coercion and violence, and not what could ever be described as a sexual interaction. If it's helpful for you, you can easily call yourself as a virgin even after those experiences.
If you would like to talk to someone about those experiences, Yarrow Place is a good one to try. They're a sexual assault service in South Australia and have free counselling and support for women who have experienced sexual assault, recently or in the past. They have some great information on their website too (see below) that may be helpful.
All the best and take care.