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Is this how it's going to be when i am old enough and have sex?

Q.
I am really into sex and porn and can get horny but i'm only 14. Is that normal? But fingering doesn't do anything for me. It has worked once and i climaxed for less than a minute. Is this how it's going to be when i am old enough and have sex? I feel stupid because it's not long.
A.

Hi there and thanks for your question. Yes, when you're 14 it's pretty normal to be interested in sex and to get turned on.

Watching porn isn't so great though, especially when you are young, mainly because it can give you some pretty odd ideas about sex. Most porn separates sex from relationships, it tends to be very focused on the woman pleasing the man, and it's not realistic in terms of what sex is really like.

Porn is "fantasy sex" and it can cause problems for people when they expect real sex to be like the fantasy sex. Real sex is more about a good relationship, good communication and getting to know each other and each other's bodies.

Looking at porn may have given you the wrong idea about female orgasms. Female orgasms actually do only last just under a minute, so you are very normal.

The fingering may not feel good if you are just putting fingers into your vagina. Everyone is a bit different in this way but most women and girls need direct stimulation of the clitoris to become aroused and to orgasm.

Try just relaxing and getting to know your body. Find out what feels good for you and what doesn't. The better you know yourself the better you will be able to communicate what you like to a partner when you are older if you decide to have sex.

All the best and take care.

Last modified: 5th August 2010
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