Hi there and thanks for getting in contact with us.

I wonder why you are not enjoying the feeling when the vibrator is in your vagina. Is it because you just don't and prefer the clit stimulation? If so, that's okay—it's whatever turns you on and feels good. You don't have to do penetration, if you don't like it, to have a good time! So, if it's as simple as that, please don't worry. It's okay. Just do what you feel comfortable with. It's not compulsory that female masturbation has to include some form of vaginal penetration.

However, you did say that you were raped a few years ago, so I wonder whether the thoughts, feelings and physical responses that you describe are all related to this? The vaginal penetration may be what is called a "trigger", in that for your mind, it equates to rape. Unfortunately, we can't unpack all of that for you through a website, but there are many places you can go to or contact to get further help and support.

There is a free/low cost young person's sexual health clinic in the city called the Action Centre (see Family Planning Victoria link below). This would be a great place for you to visit because not only do they have female doctors available who can check you out and make sure there is nothing physical happening that is causing this to happen during masturbation, but the doctor will also be able to refer you on to one of the free counsellors there if you both think this would be good for you. The counsellors there are specialists in the area of support and counselling for issues of sexual abuse and assault.

Otherwise, there is another organisation called the Centre Against Sexual Assault (CASA) (see link below). There is a CASA for every area of Victoria. Their services are free and confidential.

Remember, if you are having sex or plan to in the future, use a condom every time to protect you and your partner from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. Good luck and take care.