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I'm a virgin, and wanna keep so till marriage, however I get really horny.

Q.

I'm a virgin, and wanna keep so till marriage, however I get really horny, and cannot stop touching my breasts. It doesn't yet satisfy me much. It increases the desire.

I tried getting naked, squeezing breasts, playing with nipples, and rubbing the external lips and adding pressure on the whole area (didn't delve within) and I find much sticky liquid getting out of me, and I just wet my pants writing this. I feel sudden warmth down there between my legs, and I feel pulse as well.

Holding my breasts is no longer enough for me. Running water on my genitals doesn't do much, however strong, slightly helps, but makes the desire monstrous and unbearable to handle. Am kinda scared... and dunno how to quench that thirst within me.

I found about masturbation late. I do not use toys or penetration for being afraid of losing that tissue of virginity. All I do is the external touches... and it's not of much help. I know there are no assigned techniques for relieving that desire... but general tips will help. Thanks.

A.

Hi there and thanks for getting in contact with us. It's quite normal to be a virgin and feel horny. Sexuality and being sexual at some point is what most humans do.

It sounds like you are worried about pushing something into your vagina in case it affects your "virginity." Many girls and women are anxious about this, and are worried that they will "break" their hymen. Do you know what a hymen is? A hymen is a thin fold of mucous tissue that is slightly inside the vagina, and looks different in every woman. The hymen can be stretched or worn away (not broken) by many things: sport, exercise, tampon use, masturbation and fingering.

It's not a brittle or hard piece of anatomy but is actually quite flexible. When the hymen is first stretched there can be some bleeding and some pain, but many girls don't experience bleeding or pain with first time sex or penetration (putting fingers into the vagina) through masturbation.

Contrary to popular belief, not bleeding the first time you have vaginal sex (sexual intercourse) is not a sign that a girl is not a virgin. Her hymen could already have been stretched or may not have been there in the first place.

It is a myth that first time sex has to be painful for a girl to prove that she is a virgin. In fact, if she feels relaxed and "turned on" then this will make her first penetrative experience much easier and pleasurable.

The wetness a girl produces is a sign that she is relaxed and sexually aroused (horny). This sounds like what is happening to you: when you feel sexy, your body is responding naturally and you are becoming wet and your vagina is tensing or aching. This is normal.

Masturbation can be a good way to get to know your body in a sexual way, so you know what you like, the way you liked to be touched in certain spots etc. Then you can let the person know who you may have sex with in the future, if this is what you choose, because it's not all about the guys! Plus by masturbating, you are giving yourself sexual pleasure and responding to your sexual desires.

A girl can be a virgin and still masturbate and have orgasms. You don't have to penetrate the vagina to have a good time by yourself!

Do you know where your clitoris is? The clitoris is the little pink pea-looking thing at the top of the vagina where the labial (vaginal lips) meet. When the clitoris is touched, stroked or licked for example, it can be a very pleasurable experience for many girls, which can make them orgasm. The vagina has lots of nerve ending around the lips (labia) and at the clitoris. So, like being tickled, it feels good when these areas are touched. Give it a go!

If you decide to have sex, it's important to use condoms and other contraception to protect you from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. You can get these from your local doctor or sexual health centre.

Have a look at the links below for more information. Good luck and take care.

Last modified: 18th April 2013
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