I was bullied when i was younger and it still affects me. What should i do to stop feeling like this?
I was bullied when i was younger and it still affects me today. Every time i hear somebody laughing i think it's at me. I'm so afraid of standing out that i'm dressing the same was as i did a few years ago. Sometimes i feel as if my friends will turn against me and that they'll hate, as my bullies in the past were my friends.
I never like showing my emotions that much anymore because i'm afraid if i show what i'm feeling they might laugh at me. I always feel that everyone would be having a better time without me. I know i shouldn't be thinking this way and i try not to but it's too hard. I tried to talk to my mum about it but she says i'm fine and i'm just being silly.
What should i do to stop feeling like this?
Good on you for having survived being bullied!
Bullying unfortunately leaves emotional scars that can last a lifetime. Most of how we feel about ourselves is built into us from our childhood. If we are lucky enough to have loving parents and to grow up in a safe environment with positive relationships, it's likely that we will feel reasonably confident about ourselves. But it doesn't take much to tip the balance the other way. Being bullied (especially by those we trust) can easily make us lose our confidence, and some things that were simple for us become hard.
Maybe you need to develop your confidence again. One way could be to write down 10 things you like about yourself. Next, write down 3 things that you can realistically change about yourself (e.g. your height is an example of one that is unrealistic). Now think about what you can do to change them. List these things down and put a date against each for you to do them by. Make sure the dates you list are achievable.
Put your list into action. If you are not happy with your results, try again and again... and again. When you do achieve any one of your actions, celebrate and acknowledge it. Courage grows with every success. So be brave and recognise your personal achievements. This should help grow your confidence and self-esteem.
You could also try exercising. Exercise helps us look and feel better, which in turn helps us feel more confident about ourselves. Any activity helps! So if you have a bike, take it for a spin. Or go running outdoors to get some fresh air and sun. Even a few skips or short walk should help you work towards your building up confidence in yourself.
Hope this helps. If you feel a need to talk further with someone or would like to find out more about bullying and what you can do to build your confidence, have a look at the phone numbers and links below. Good luck!