Me and my boyfriend have spoken about giving each other head. Would it be safe? Is it legal?
Hi, me and my boyfriend have spoken about giving each other head and I'm fine with it but I'm not sure if it's okay to do it. What if we don't use condoms? Would it be safe since this is the first time for the both of us?
I used to get cold sores but I don't anymore. Would there be a chance of him getting herpes since I have had them before?
Is it legal for us to be doing this? I feel like I'm ready. At PE at school, my teacher says that it's okay at this age but I'm not sure.
Also, we both want each other to shave but I'm not sure how to do it. Is there a type of cream that does it for you and works on all body parts? I know there are for shaving creams for legs but would they work and be safe for my v?
Hi. Thanks for your questions. It's great you are asking this stuff before being sexual with someone else.
Is it legal for you two to have oral sex (head)? The age of consent in Victoria (when you can legally say yes) to sex, including oral sex, is actually 16. When you're under 16, it's illegal for anyone to have sex with you. You didn't say how old your boyfriend is, but if he is 2 or more years older than you he could be charged with statutory rape (sex with someone under 16) if he does any sexual act with you. This can be difficult to understand so have a read of the links below for more information.
Some young people start to experiment sexually around your age and maybe this is what your teacher meant when they said it's okay at your age. Doing something sexual with a partner has more to do with you being ready and feeling comfortable doing it though. If you ever feel uncomfortable about doing something sexual with someone else, say no or ask them to stop. If they force you to do something, this is called sexual assault and you should tell someone you trust about it.
It's great that you have mentioned condoms and know they're important. Although you can't get pregnant having oral sex, you can get a sexually transmissible infection (STI), so it's good to use condoms every time. (That's one of the reasons flavoured condoms were invented!) Since it'd be the first time having oral sex for you and for your boyfriend, the risk of getting an STI is low but it's definitely a good idea to get into the habit of using condoms anyway.
You said that you have had cold sores in the past. The cold sore virus is a type of herpes virus and although you may not have had a cold sore for a very long time, the virus is still in your body. There is a chance you may pass on the virus to your boyfriend's genital area if the skin around your mouth comes in contact with the skin in his genital area. Using condoms will reduce this risk but there is a still a slight chance you can pass it on to him whenever you have oral sex or kiss him. It's best to avoid kissing or having oral sex when you have a cold sore. If your boyfriend has ever had a cold sore, his body will have antibodies and will be unlikely to get the virus from you.
About shaving, some young people choose to shave their genital areas because they don't like the look of pubic hair, or it irritates them. There are many ways to remove genital hair, such as shaving as you say, but you can also remove it by waxing or using a depilatory (hair removal) cream. The type of shaving cream you use for your legs should be fine to use. Just remember the genital area is very sensitive so if the cream starts to sting or irritate your skin, remove it straight away.
The hair in the genital area can be thick so can be difficult to remove. If you have quite long genital hair you may like to trim it back with scissors first (being careful not to cut yourself). This should make shaving a little easier.
Have a look at the links below for more information. Hope this helps.