I used to think about boys and then i started to think about girls. I'm a little confused.
I'm an 18 year old female and i have never been with a guy as in never done anything, including just kissing, going out, anything. I mean i am not overly worried because i'm in year 12. I'm more worried about my studies and other things which are more important but i still think about it at times, and realise how ugly, boring etc. i am and that they wouldn't want to be with me...
I have thought about guys for a fair few years i suppose. I used to think about boys when i was younger and then i kinda started to think about girls and women as i have gotten older but then i think that i shouldn't be thinking things like that.
I still think about guys but i don't know, i'm really confused and i don't know what i'm supposed to do. I keep coming to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter because either sex wouldn't want to be with me.
When i was younger, not that many years ago actually, i used to dress in very boyish clothes. I was and am a tomboy and stuff and my dress sense is well not very girly but more so than it used to be. I think people thought that i was not straight because of the way i acted, dressed, etc., which i don't know whether it had anything to do with my thought processes now...
I'm just a little confused. What should i do? Thanks.
Thanks for your question.
There are two issues here: one is your sexuality and whether you are attracted to guys/girls/both, and the other is your self-esteem (how you feel about yourself).
There is a lot of negativity in what you've written about yourself, and I think it's probably a good idea to make an appointment to see a professional counsellor or psychologist (your GP can organise this for you). This is because it's going to be difficult for you to focus on how you feel about other people until you are more able to work out how you feel about yourself. A psychologist will be able to help you work through these feelings to find a place of acceptance within yourself so that you can then begin to explore your sexuality and the types of relationships you may want (when you are ready).
Have a look at the links below if you'd like to read more. Good luck.