Hi there, thanks for your question. The answer to it really depends on your definition of virginity.

Historically, virginity has almost always been about women. Men haven't been held to the same sexual behaviour standards. But of course, everyone is a virgin at birth, and some people stay that way their whole lives. So guys can be virgins too.

One definition of virginity for guys is that guys lose their virginity once their penis is inserted into a vagina or an anus. Whether or not you ejaculate doesn't matter. Have a look at the links below for more about virginity.

Because of TV and the movies, a lot of people think their first sexual experience should be like what they see there. This is usually not the case though, especially when having sex for the first time. A lot of people would like it to be a memorable first experience and imagine having an orgasm or ejaculating, but this doesn't always happen, for guys or for girls.

Having sex should be something you are okay with doing. You should never feel forced into doing something sexual you don't want to do. When having sex, also make sure you're prepared with condoms ready to use to prevent an unplanned pregnancy and reduce the risk of getting a sexually transmissible infection (STI).

For more information on all things about sexual health, check out the Family Planning NZ website.