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I need to know if I made a mistake getting back with him multiple times.

Q.

I'm in a complicated relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now. Since we've been together he has cheated on about 5 times now and every time I always take him back, as you can see. It's definitely hard to trust him but I know for a fact that I want to be married to him.

He's telling me that he is trying to change but I'm scared of making a mistake by giving him all my trust and then getting my heart broken, like recently. But anyways, I need your advice and I need clarification to know if I made a mistake by getting back with him multiple times. And should I put my trust in him again?

A.

Thanks for asking us.

You won't like reading this, but you really need to end things with this guy. He has cheated on you FIVE TIMES! He clearly doesn't love or respect you and his behaviour has shown you that he can't be trusted.

I wonder why you want to be married to someone who can treat you this way. Do you feel like you don't deserve any better? Or maybe you think that he is the only one who would want to be with you. Normally when women want to be with partners who treat them badly, it's because they feel so bad about themselves that they will take any "love" that they can get, even if it comes with emotional abuse and a lack of respect, like your boyfriend has shown you.

You are still young and you do not need to make decisions yet about who you want to marry. You still have so much to learn about yourself and what you want in life. You deserve to be with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are, and who you can trust completely because they never give you any reason not to. Your boyfriend does none of these things and is not worth your love.

If you are finding it really hard to break away from him and your feelings for him, speak to a counsellor or doctor. You can do a lot better than this guy. Good luck.

Last modified: 22nd May 2012
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