I think that guy got me with date rape and i feel that i cheated on my boyfriend.
I have a boyfriend. Last friday night i was at a party with my friend and this guy was flirting with me and touching me and we started kissing. I was drunk, i was out of it. As we kept on kissing i remember getting picked up and we were in a bedroom and we started kissing more. Then we were on a bed taking our clothes off and he pulled out a condom and i got up and said NO, WHAT AM I DOING? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
I was getting stressed out and freaked out thinking what the hell am i doing with some guy when i have a boyfriend. I guess the alcohol got to me and made me go stupid and forget what i was doing. The guy just stared at me and i remember feeling his hands rubbing up and down all over my body. I got up and started feeling dizzy.
Then i remember the feeling of arms over me and getting placed on the bed. I was half asleep and i didn't know what was going on. I felt confused and freaked out. Then i didn't know what happened after that. I just remember waking up at 3am in the morning next to the guy, and i felt sick. I couldn't find my clothes, i was naked. I remember looking back and seeing his face staring at me. He told me ooh you just cheated on your boyfriend or whatever. Then i was like what is going on and i grabbed my clothes, put them on and ran out of that evil room.
So i think that guy got me with date rape and i feel that i cheated on my boyfriend cause i remember kissing him but, yeah it was horrible.
Thanks for your question. It sounds like this was a very distressing experience for you.
Having sex with someone without their consent (agreement) is rape. Likewise, doing anything sexual with another person without the other person's consent is called sexual assault.
It's important to know that a person can't legally give consent (say yes) to sex if they are unconscious, asleep or are too affected by alcohol or other drugs. A person is also not legally considered to have given consent to sex if they been pressured, tricked, forced or coerced into going along with it. If someone does freely consent to having sex and then changes their mind, their partner must respect this and stop.
The guy at the party could have asked if you wanted to go upstairs rather than carry you up there. When you stood up and spoke about your boyfriend he would have known that you were not okay about having sex with him. He also would have know that you were drunk, sleepy and eventually passed out. On seeing any one of these signs he should have stopped.
It can be difficult when you can't remember what has happened, but it's possible that you were sexually assaulted. It'd be helpful for you to talk to a counsellor about what has happened. Counsellors are available at the Sexual Assault Resource Centre. Situations like this can feel very confusing and upsetting. It's also a good idea for you to see a nurse or doctor to get an STI check-up to be safe. The Resource Centre can help you with this or you can see any another doctor.
Good luck and all the best with contacting a counsellor.
