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I'm a straight girl but I have homo fantasies. What should I do about them?

Q.

I'm 12 years old and I'm a girl. I often masturbate to porn but what's bad about it is that it's lesbian porn. I'm straight though! I like boys. But I'd rather look at women naked than men. Not only that, but I prefer to see 2 women have sex. And what's awful is that watching so much lesbian porn makes me have lesbian fantasies. I'm not sure why I have them so much.

I'm a straight girl but I have homo fantasies. What should I do about them?

A.

Thanks for your question. Lots of girls who are straight have lesbian fantasies or enjoy watching lesbian porn. It doesn't make them gay or even bisexual.

For many girls, straight porn is just not arousing (as often the situations or guys are not seen to be attractive). Girls often find lesbian porn more enjoyable because they see it as more emotional, empowering or respectful of women.

Keep in mind that while porn can help you start to learn more about sex, your body, and what turns you on, it doesn't show what sex is like in reality—it's all actors with scripts and it rarely shows people having safer sex (e.g. using a condom).

You are still young and there is no need to categorise yourself according to your sexuality just yet. At this stage, there is also nothing wrong with you having these fantasies because they are a normal part of sexuality and don't always have to reflect reality. Being gay has to do more with the type of partners we are emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to, not the type of porn we find arousing.

If you're still feeling concerned about this or want to talk to someone about sexuality or other issues, make a time to speak to your school counsellor or local youth-friendly GP, or call your local youth health line. All the best.

Last modified: 10th July 2012
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