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The following content is from Somazone dot com dot au

Can someone give me some info/tips on how to stretch my vagina to make the first time less painful?

Q.

Ok, I'm 19, and a virgin!

I really like this guy who I wish to lose my virginity to. I'm just really scared about the first time...I've tried to masturbate but I'm struggling! I can only fit about an inch of my index finger in my vagina and it won't go further! It hurts a lot.

I just don't want it to hurt really bad the first time! Can someone help me please? Give me some info/tips on how to stretch my vagina to make the first time less painful? Thank u :)

A.

Hi there and thanks for getting in contact with us. It's quite normal to be a virgin at your age, so relax! Studies over here in Australia show that about 47 out of 100 young people your age are virgins!

It's quite normal for a woman to be anxious about first time sex and whether it is going to hurt because you hear lots of horrible stories about bleeding and pain. I can assure you that for some women, yes, it can be a pretty painful experience, but for many many others it can be very enjoyable and satisfying. Let's try and help make yours positive.

There could be one of two things going on here. One is that your hymen could still be intact (not broken). The hymen (also called the cherry) is a thin piece of tissue/membrane that partly or totally covers the opening of the vagina. Not every baby girl is born with a hymen, however, the fact that you say your finger can't go in and it is very painful suggests that you have a hymen but it may not be broken.

The hymen can be broken in many ways, for example, when using a tampon, horse riding, or pushing fingers or a penis into the vagina. If your hymen is there you may wish to break it yourself, and during masturbation for example may be an ideal opportunity.

The other reason for pain may be that you are a little anxious and uptight about all this, which will impact on your ability to relax and enjoy yourself during masturbation, which can make it difficult in vaginal penetration of any kind.

The vagina is a big muscle, so if a woman is tense so is the vagina. If a woman is relaxed, her vagina is able to open up, a bit like a paper bag. So maybe try and set a scene when masturbating. Make sure you are somewhere safe and private where you won't be disturbed. Maybe light a candle (be careful not to burn yourself or the house down!), put on some sexy romantic music, and start exploring your body. You'll be amazed what can happen. It's very normal for women to masturbate, we're just pretty bad as a society at talking about it!

Lots of young people learn about what they like sexually by masturbating. Some people start when they are very young, some not until they are older and some not until they are an adult. Masturbation can be a good way to get to know your body in a sexual way, so you know what you like and the way you liked to be touched in certain spots etc. Then you can let your partner know what feels good for you, because sex isn't all about the guys! Plus, by masturbating you will get used to the sensation of something being pushed in and out of your vagina, hopefully making things a little easier for you the first time you have sex.

Do you where your clitoris is? The clitoris is the little pink pea-looking thing at the top of the vagina where the labial (vaginal lips) meet and surround the clitoris. During sexual arousal, the clitoris swells because it contains erectile tissue (like a man's penis). Clitorises come in all shapes and sizes and are generally located in the same area in all women.

When the clitoris is touched, stroked or licked for example, it can be a very pleasurable experience for many women, from which they can orgasm. The vagina has lots of nerve ending around the lips (labia) and at the clitoris. They are filled with bundles of nerve endings, so like being tickled, it feels good when this area is touched, stroked or kissed.

The other thing to think about if you do decide to have sex is using condoms and contraception to protect you both against STIs and unplanned pregnancy. You can get condoms from your local sexual health centre. Have a look at the NHS website below for more info on where to go. Good luck and take care.

Last modified: 27th July 2010
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